Short jokes

Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?

Allah's snackbar!

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it, but I'm not too worried. I think she is joking.

Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?

Because they got little dicks and big mouths.

How do you spell "cognitive mess?"

J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.

What did the racist CoD player say to yo mama?

132.513.531.332

Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.

Yo mama so fat when she laid on a water bed, she laid on the whole Pacific Ocean.

Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?

It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.

Sally fell off the swing.

Sally has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.

Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?

The bus driver hit Sally.

Why will we never get hungry in the desert?

We have lots of sand-which's.

I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!

What's the difference between a plane and a woman?

At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.

What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?

They both make terrible hunters.

How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?

50.

If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?

I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.