Short jokes
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Your mom has quite the mouth on her.
As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.
Bros over hos.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.