Short jokes
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.
Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.
But she so ugly people are repelled by her.
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
Lewandowski is so fast because whoever would think of adding an engine to him is a genius!
Your haircut is worse than James Charles picking a gender.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
POV: Her name is Alli.
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
Why doesn't Newton cut trees in vanilla Minecraft? Because he wants Minecraft to be realistic!