Short jokes
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?