Short jokes
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
The earth used to be flat.
Till they buried yo mama.
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Why was the slave so happy? Because he got his master's degree.
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Q: What did the terrorist say during a plane flight? A: “Wow! This flight is the bomb!”
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.