Short jokes
So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.
If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.
What happened after George Floyd went to the drugstore to buy Zicam Extreme Congestion Relief?
George Floyd was able to breathe again.
George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.
Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?
Because he's too high.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
When your crush walks in class, but you're homeschooled...
Why do men fart louder than women?
Because women can’t keep their mouth shut to build up any pressure.
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.