Short jokes
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
The earth used to be flat.
Till they buried yo mama.
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Why is hangman always done in black ink?
To make it more realistic.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.