Short jokes

If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.

Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?

Stop imagining!

I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

Me: I'm retarded.

Teacher: Why?

Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."

SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."

Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.

Me: Cool, what rank of officer?

Jim: SS.

Me:...

Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?

During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?

I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.

My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."

What do you call a group of transgender women?

X-Men.

My ex died in an anchorage accident.

She always was a sleeping hooker.

Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?

Boys: blue is blue.

I need a hug.

*hugs train*

Why did the cow have for breakfast?

Answer: Muesli.

If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.