Short jokes
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.