Short jokes
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tornado." "Tornado who?" "Tornado going to suck yo house up."
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Why did Muhammad Ali go down? Because he couldn't stand the cancer.
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
I need a hug.
*hugs train*
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.