Short jokes
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
You are so skinny, you probably wipe your butt with floss.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
Mexican Comedy Week
Margarita Monday Taco Tuesday Wetback Wednesday Tequila Thursday Fiesta Friday Shake It Saturday Sneaky Sunday
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What do a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Q. What do you call a prostitute who asks too many questions?
A. An intrusive thot.