Short jokes
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
Mÿ pp.
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
Taja?
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
Sheep want to wool the world :)