Short jokes
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
Bully: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: Then why are you listening?
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
Marleigh is so fat and ugly.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!
Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!