Short jokes
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!