Short jokes
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
How old are 9/11 victims?
"There, toddlers, here come the airplane!"
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.