Short jokes
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
Why is it called a building if it's already built?
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
Sheep want to wool the world :)