A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
Imagine not having parents. Lol.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."