Short jokes
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
Messi chiquito...
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?
The punchline isn’t apparent.
Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.
What kind of paper likes music? Wrapping paper.
Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Q: What do you call 9/11? A: Enemy persion airstrike.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
I would've made a joke about Alzheimer's, too bad I forgot about it...