Short jokes

Bestfriend @3am: I love you.

Me: Love you too.

*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*

I don't know if this is funny.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?

Search up biblically accurate angels.

I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.

Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Man's hairline is back-court violation!

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked!

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

What do you call a house with dog hair?

A shed.

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.

My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three, because it’s the normal person's height.

What do gay guys and priests have in common?

They are both gay in their own ways.