Short jokes

Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair?

Anything they can't catch you.

I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.

What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.

So there was a reason why I hated math.

I suck at problem-solving.

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

Sans: What do you have there?

Frisk: A KNIFE!

Sans: NOO!!!

Yo forehead so big it makes Megamind's forehead small.

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.

Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.

9/10/01

Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”

The umpire and the catcher were having a conversation. The runner slid into home, “I slid into this conversation.”

Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will be made in China too.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!

Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa Claus?

They're the ones that make the toys.

Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.