Short jokes
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.
I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
What has four legs and works at McDonald's?
The remaining members of Nirvana.
What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said?
"Pop Goes the Weasel."
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
A woman.
Why is the fat man roping himself to the side of a mountain?
So he doesn't roll back down!
What is Uludağ made from? Dog pee!
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.