Short jokes
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
What is missing on an orphanage computer? The motherboard.
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
What's the best card in Clash Royale?
The Credit Card.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.