Short jokes
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
Why did the Titanic cross the road?
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
Explain Bear, girl, you're tripping.