Short jokes

What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?

"Hello, ladies!"

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

What happened to the frog that partied illegally?

He got TOAD away!

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.

Why can't Juice WRLD hit rock bottom?

Because he's too high.

I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”

I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.

I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

I used to be into fitness. But running from my problems got exhausting.

I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.

I bought a coffin on Black Friday. It was a killer deal.

What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.

Rip Juice WRLD.

I have a friend who's a suicide bomber. He's a blast at parties.