Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Why do gay men hate periods? Because they per Collins.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.