Short jokes

Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

What does a Jew expecting guests say?

"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"

What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?

"We need to circumcise that one."

If the government can print money,

Then why are we paying taxes?

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.

What is a government mandate?

When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.

It was a touching story.

For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?

"Chancel culture!"

Why don’t rappers ever get lost?

They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.

What is a dog's favorite snack?

RUFFles.

The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.

Devora Malka, the Nora School, Silver Springs, Maryland, also known as Opal.

What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.

How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.

How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.

How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?

Gingervitus.

How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?

She unlocks the handcuffs.

Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?

He shot a Ginger.