What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
Short Jokes
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
What did the water say to the cup?
"Good day!"
Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.
I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
Hahahahaha......... Autism.
Violets are blue, roses are red.
Last night your mom was giving me head.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
