Short jokes
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
What do you call Helen Keller after she killed 10 people?
Helen Killer.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
Why couldn't people have their phone on airplane mode during 9/11?
Because their phone exploded the towers.
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Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.
Go sub to Patty Mahomes on YouTube!
There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?
Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.
You know what's REALLY "Ironic"?
Answer:
These REALLY ARE the "Worst Jokes" I've ever heard!
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
what's flat and great for cutting? me.
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"