Short jokes
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Your hairline is like Mount Everest; it points.
Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.
Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!
Wait, what?
Call 911!
Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."
What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.