Short jokes
Why couldn't the blonde dial 911?
She couldn't find the 11.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
I threw a gay person into a fire. Now we call him LGBBQ.
We should stop being mean to orphans.
We should be cruel instead.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.
It’s called Enditol.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
What’s positive in Africa?
HIV/AIDS.
What do you call a Christian Asian?
Hao Li.
I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.