Short jokes
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?
cornhub.com
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
Why do orphans kill people so they can finally be wanted?
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.