Short jokes

Why do kids like to pick on orphans?

Because they can't call their parents.

Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.

My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.

Me: *Realizes*

POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.

What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?

9:11 AM

I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.

"hipede hop hiped d the twin towers will be gone tomoreo at 8:43"

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?

sue the dating site for matching her with him.

Stephen Hawking once stood up to bow down to Chuck Norris.

My favorite book is "Brown Spots on the Ceiling" by Ho Fung Poo.

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?

Because they have to pay for road tax.

What did the orphan say to the barber?

I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.

Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.

Relationships are like fat people.

Most of them don’t work out.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.