Short jokes
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.
They hate change.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
Why is Black History Month the shortest month of the year?
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.