Short jokes
They didn't burn witches back in the day, they burned bitches.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
If Fascism got popularized by autistics, the trains would have run on time.
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?
Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance.
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
Who was most surprised by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide?
Jeffrey Epstein.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
Why was 10 so scared?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
“Wanna smoke, kids?” is an offer to do drugs.
“Wanna smoke kids?” is an offer to kill.