Short jokes
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Roses are red,
My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.
Bro never learned how to play Jenga. 🙄
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!