Short jokes

My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.

One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!

What animal can jump the highest?

Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"

I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.

Me: You have terrible jokes.

Mum: Shows me a mirror.

What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?

Motor disease.

My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."

What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.

Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.

I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

A limbo champion walks into a bar.

Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?

A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.

What do you call a blank piece of paper?

Women's rights.

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.

What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!