Short jokes
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
What is worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Bro used the quadratic formula to calculate the velocity of your -234 going down hairline.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.
Your hairline goes as far back as the cavemen. Your forehead is also as deep as the cave.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.