Short jokes
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Roses are red,
I don't know what is brass.
I tell myself,
"Don't touch grass."
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.
Your hairline is so bad even Ariana Grande stopped singing because of it.
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
I'm a poor Indian, please help me.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
Roses are red,
Potatoes are brown,
Your mom's so hot,
I put her down.
Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.