Short jokes

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.

You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.

What do you never say to gay people?

IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️‍🌈

People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.

God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?

How are orphans like broken pencils?

Neither of them have points.

Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.

Karma is like rape.

What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.

Do they call it rapeseed oil because it is lube?

Dishwasher rape is another word for marital obligations.

Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.

What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?

One is loved by all.

If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.

"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"

"Oh, that was the cat."

"We don't have a cat..."

"Oh..."

What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

One eats tape while the other eats pussy.