Short jokes

I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.

I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!

Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?

Me: Nah, not really.

Friend: What did they feel like?

Me: 7th grade.

Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨

What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.

Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

"Yo mama so fat when she got buried it took them all the trees on Earth for her coffin."

"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."

Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?

Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.

When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?

When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.