Short jokes
Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
Me: Which WiFi are we on?
Coworker: Should be floor 89.
Me: What about flight 104?
Coworker: Oh crap!
When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."
Even Michael Jordan can't dunk from your hairline! 🤣🤣
Hi. Hhhh yrddd.
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
childhood skipped @iissoo.00 fr😵💫
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
I beat up a failed musician until he started crying.
I thought a few hits would cheer him up!
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
"Bye bye guys, I'mma leave this shithole, but look at my post in the community tab."
[Link]
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
Why are orphans not that good at baseball?
They can never hit a homerun.