Short jokes

"Room, you on."

Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?

Because they've already been roasted!

Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!

A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."

My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!

Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

I wrote a book called "Endless Love."

It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

Roses are red, potato chips are savory...

The United States prison system is legalized slavery.

I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.

But the punch line is too long.

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?

Innocent.

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?

Mmm, I'm Walter McWhitey, I'm from the newest Mexico.

When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,

So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"

Why can't there be a gay disabled person?

Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.

I am the Lorax. I speak for trees. I have the high ground, and I will cut off your knees.