Short jokes
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
Justin Bieber
Nickelback.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
"I can't wait for Thanksgiving!" said the turkey.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.