Short jokes
What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
What do you call a pool full of white people?
Kix.
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
What's a person in a wheelchair's favorite sport?
Jousting.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
Davin is a pedo.
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
Person: I'd really like it if you'd stop saying my name all the time.
Random Person: Cheesus! That hurt!
Person: SERIOUSLY!?!?
What did the boy say to the girl? "Damn! You pissy, stank!"
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.