Short jokes
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.
Your mum gay, lol.
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
Who likes eating ass?
My Little Pony.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?
Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
My PC.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
Why are some people African?
Because genes, you dummy!
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.