Short jokes
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
Whet
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes, but they all just crash and burn.