Short jokes
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
What do you call a guy named Ben?
Answer: Ben
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
What do you call Holly and Elenji?
A couple.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he broke his charger.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?