Short jokes
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
"9/11 was just a really intense game of Jenga."
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
Me.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.
2+2=4-1=3 quick math.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!