Short jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
X: Morning, sunshine!
Y: Oh, yeah. 30 minutes more.
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
What's Trump's favorite instrument?
A TRUMPet!!!
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
You want a pizza from me!!!!
Pizzaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."