Short jokes
Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?
Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
My PC.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
Why are some people African?
Because genes, you dummy!
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"