Short jokes
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
Happiness.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Mayonnaise marry me?
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
His left shoulder.
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"