Short jokes
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?
How do fish get to school?
By the octobus.
Whet
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes, but they all just crash and burn.
How do you know that the U.S. sucks at chess?
They lost two towers.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
Cuddle with you.🙂
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.