Short jokes
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
Why do y’all call a pickup truck?
'Cause ya got a flat tire.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
The woman.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What do you call a fat chink?
Saturn.
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!