Short jokes
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
I like my women like I like my wine.
Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.
I like my women like I like my eggs.
Beaten against a table until her insides come out.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
Wanna know something funny?
- Women's rights.
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
What do you call a gay person in Antarctica?
Bi-Polar.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."