Short jokes
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
...
...
Their knees.
*Ba dum tss*
Beans
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
Bitch wanna make me a sandwich?
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
What’s white and sticky? A white man's penis after taking care of his neighbor's dog.
If cops are called pigs, then security guards are piglets.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.