Short jokes
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?
Yeah, I’m LGBTQ.
LETS GO BULLY THE QUEERS!
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
Ali-A
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
Because it did not have the guts.
Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.
Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.
Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.
Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten.
My friend died from an allergic reaction. He gave me an EpiPen while he was dying, so now I have something to remember him from.
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
Loser.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
What do you call a whiteboard that is dirty?
A dirty whiteboard.