Short jokes
A blind person walks into a bar.
Because they can’t see where they are going.
Why is the homeless homeless?
Because it's homeless.
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
My chance of finding love.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.
Your d*** size...
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
I will give you a nickel if you tickle my nickel pickle, Rick.
How to stop bullying?
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck?
Incest.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
What language do they speak in the middle of the earth?
CORE-ean
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
"Well," he says, "It's what mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screams, "Don't eat it! It's a fucking asshole."
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?