Short jokes
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
What do McDonalds and priests both do?
They both put their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
What kind of knight puts dumb jokes on the internet?
You!
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
What do you call a dick that's too small to see?
Tick-tack dick.
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
Isaac
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
What do most 50-year-old men put inside their cars?
Children.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!
What is the spiciest meat ever? Pepperoni.
Kid: “What happened to Dad?”
Mom: “He flew into the Twin Towers.”