Short jokes

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Figs.

Figs who?

Fix the door, it's broken!

Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.

Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!

Why is Cinderella white?

Because she is superior.

What is the real name of Canada?

Punjabistan

If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.

A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"

I said, "Are you going to punish me?"

When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.

My dignity to live.

People having seizures are just people dreaming about rollercoasters.

A gay couple actually goes to heaven. Turns out Jesus was a hypocrite.

You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.

And together, we are pho-ever.

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost!!!!!!! Hahahaha. Banta everyone on this site has 0 life and should leave.

What did Pepper say to Spray?

"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"

Q: What did one atom say to the other?

A: I have my ion you.

Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.

Me: Nah, it's just two tired.

What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.

What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.