Short jokes
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Heh heh, get it? 69! Ha ahahaha!
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bone."
"Bone who?"
"It's nice to meet cha'. Can we be friends? I'm bone-ly here."
You are in the airway, how funny!
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!
Yo momma so ugly, her blood type is puss.
My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.
So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.