Short jokes
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
Did you hear about that Muslim party?
It was a blast!
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
What do you call a rapper with a cold?
Lil Sneezy.
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
How does a rapper keep their money safe?
In a RAP VAULT.
Fight in the comments.
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
What did the tree do when the bank closed?
It started its own branch.