Short jokes
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
Uranus is a gassy planet.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
I got some from suggestions, research, etc. etc. Just to illuminate you.
What goes moo? Cow.
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My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?
A: Blue stop signs.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!