Short jokes
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.
I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
What made people mad?
Planes in Fortnite Battle Royale!
What do you call an orphan? Batman.
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
Teacher: *calls you up to the board*. You: Ok. *Gets intense boner* *has to fart really bad* You: F***!!!!!!!
Spaghetti-ashannaise
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
What was King Tut's favorite coffee?
De-coffin-ated.
Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!