Short jokes
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Homie: Let's meet.
Skrr: It's 🔥🌭
Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
What do you call the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones!
Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch?
He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
It's hard to predict the future,
especially before it happens.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
Say this out loud: "Gabe Itch."
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
CHABI CHABI CHAB CHAAAAB!
Octopussy.