Short jokes
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What is it about sisters who argue?
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
What time is your name from? Any time.
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
What is the difference between a human and a bird?
A bird can fly and a human cannot fly.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
What did the left butt cheek say to the right?
"Trump 2020."
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
I thought fruit tasted good. I guess I was wrong.
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
What is the name of a show for kids?
Barney.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼