Short jokes
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
What has two tires and no engine? A magic house 🏡
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
The butt quack one.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
Happy new year! 🥳
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
Why do people say "cheese" in a camera?
Because they were using the computer.
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What is a plane ✈️ that can not fly?
A fake one ☝️