Short jokes
Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?
Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Someone: Hey, are you a skeleton?
A skeleton: Of course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans!
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
Why did the doctor check out Earth?
He had a tummy quake.
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
I love still things.
I love you, my new phone! 📲
I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
What is, tyyyyyy a tree is it is the difference between a?
"I love you 😘" was the night you got a iiooooo.
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
Eeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeee.
What happened when you put your penis in? You start cumming!
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...