What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
Short Jokes
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
Gan cube prices?
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
You
You
You're the cow.
