Short jokes
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.
Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
What do you call a un-funny rock?
A normal rock.
F66666666666666666666666666
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
*insert pun here*
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
What do you call a mug? A mug dummy.