Short jokes

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

For some sick DRIZZLE on his tracks.

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.

BlessedBrian's autobiography would be titled "The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry."

Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.

BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.

BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.

Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.

My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"

Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.

When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.

He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.

I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.

The dad finally came back with the milk!

I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.

What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."