Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.
–Pluto.
There are 3 Genders.
1: Man
2: Woman
3: Mentally ill.
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.
What do orphans do at parent teacher meetings?
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
My friend: “Vaporeon is my favorite Pokémon.”
Me: “Hey, did you kno-“
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!
