Short jokes
If people who live in Canada are Canadians, I mean if they drink Fanta, they’re fantastic.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
If you are a robot, you cannot talk.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
What's yellow and smells of Marge? Homer Simpson's fingers!
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
My fish puns aren't on porpoise.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?
'Cause it got stuck in a pothole!