Short jokes

Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?

Everybody knows nothing.

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

What do you put on a cheeseburger? It's a wrap!

Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldn't work until I enabled pop-ups!

Why doesn’t Ganon search the web very often? Because there’s too many links.

I unironically shit myself. I am so sorry.

I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.

Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEE YEEEEE

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.

Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.

What did the customer say when Beef a Roo made him a bacon cheeseburger?

Thank a Roo.

What is an orange?

World's only not rhyming thing. Hehhhehehehehhe.

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?

He bought a warehouse.

Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"

....yes, it is "long time no see."

Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?

He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.

Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?

Dad: He had a nap.

Kid: Where is he now?

Dad: HELL!

What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?

Walkers.

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.