Short jokes
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
Your reflection.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
Poopoo man.
I might have to back down on this because it is usually aimed for little children.
The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?
IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!
I raped your mom. I flipped her upside down and called the position "wow."
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To check in on his flat mate.
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.