Short jokes
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
I was looking forward to reading the short jokes to see if I could find my uncle.
Why do nuns walk in groups?
So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".
Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?
So that he could design his own “website.”
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
Why do you have to wipe yourself with toilet paper? Because bugs can crawl, eat your poop, and drink your pee!
I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?